Do you have trouble with children fighting in the car? The car is a great place for children to play out all their sibling dramas and get your full attention– they have you trapped, and they know it! Fighting children in cars is inconvenient at best, and dangerous at worst. This week, Dr Mary Anne Hall from EPEC Education, provides some strategies to reach your destination in one piece!
1. Plan trips ahead of time
If it’s a long journey, have your route planned. For example, organise toilet stops; snack breaks; park breaks to burn off energy. Long journeys require forward planning. Have a discussion with the children about your expectations - this gives them a sense of ownership and responsibility for the journey. Always ensure you have some small snacks and drinks on hand to keep hunger at bay. Hungry children will be unhappier and are more likely to have temper flare ups.
2. Have some boredom busters
Spotting patterns of numbers on number plates, Eye Spy; cloud pictures; car colour counting, are all games that will keep children occupied. For longer journeys, consider DVD’s, music etc, to keep boredom at bay.
3. Pull the car over
If you threaten to pull the car over, it is essential that you follow through on this. If you do not actually pull the car over, children will not believe you. You need to show them what you mean, do not just tell them. Let your actions show them you mean business!
4. Unpack feelings
If arguments escalate, when it is safe to do so, you need to pull the car over until the children have returned to a calm state: Try the following:
Don’t yell: “This is dangerous, stop fighting, or I will pull the car over”.
Instead: Calmly pull the car over and say: “I can see you are both extremely angry. It is unsafe for me to be driving when you are arguing. When you are quiet and calm, we can continue onto the game (movies etc, whatever your intended destination).
Instead of saying: “If you keep this behaviour up, we are not going to the movies”
Calmly say: “I can see you both are having some problems sorting out who that game belongs to. Let’s discuss how we can problem solve this together”.
5. Reflect on the journey
When you are home and all in a calm state, you need to discuss the importance of road safety and the ramifications of what can happen if a driver is distracted in a car. It is important that children are given the tools to sort their own problems out, and that as a family, everyone is heard and that their feelings are validated. Maybe use this time to reflect and let the children tell you their views on the journey, and how they think it could be improved.